Jesus and Wine

I was thinking last night (while lying awake wishing I could sleep) about how Jesus turned water into wine for his first miracle.  I mean, it’s a cool miracle but why would he choose that as his very first one? Just didn’t want the party to stop?  Of course not.  I realized I had never thought too much about why this particular miracle was first.  I think it’s because it totally reflects Jesus’ purpose on Earth.  

Our bodies are vessels.  What is important is not the body but what is in it.  When we are saved, we are fundamentally transformed.  We don’t change on the outside, yet everything inside is different.  Water has no aroma, no color, no effect other than to hydrate.  Wine has color, scent, and taste.

Jesus didn’t turn water into wine because it was a party trick, or because the wedding guests wanted wine.  It was His very first illustration of the profound change that takes place when He is in our lives.  

So be wine.  Yummy, delicious, refreshing wine that makes others want to be like you.

MommyCon

Recently a friend posted pictures on facebook of her time at ComicCon.  It looked like fun.  Got me to thinking.  We should have a MommyCon.

MommyCon would be different from ComicCon in some ways.  I’m picturing big padded rooms with a bunch of soft toys and wine vendors surrounding them with high stools.  Moms can sit up on their stools and keep an eye on their little ones.

Other rooms could have Paw Patrol on one screen and a fun grown up movie on the other, with some soundproof glass in between.  And wine vendors – did I mention wine vendors?  Big bouncy house.  And wine.

Moms can even dress up just like at ComicCon.  Some ideas:

• Newborn mom – stretched out yoga pants, greasy hair, tank top (because – nursing!), stains consisting of spit up and baby poop.
• Toddler mom – slightly less stretched out yoga pants and not too greasy hair.  Shirt with sticky unknown food stains.  Toys in pockets.  
• Smug mom – you know her.  She feeds her kid organic non-gmo cardboard of some sort and tells you about how her 2 year old is reading Tolstoy and finding him pedantic.  Outfit consists of something from lululemon.  
• Mom of school aged kids – my kids are 3 months and 2 years old.  This mom is triumphant and gets to wear actual JEWELRY because her kids are past the pulling on everything stage.  

The only issue, raised by one of my friends, is with the aforementioned wine vendors (everywhere, I mean everywhere), making sure drunk on wine mom doesn’t load her precious cargo into the car and drive off.

So maybe MommyCon should be adults only?    

The Problem with Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter - I get it.  I'm not one of those conservatives who takes issue with the name.  I understand there's an unstated -too- at the end of it.  And I understand the issue they are trying to call attention to - disparate policing practices.  I just think they're going about it the wrong way and also missing the bigger issue.

First, we know from FBI statistics that over 90% of blacks killed are killed by other blacks.  In 2013 (according to the FBI), 2,491 black people were murdered. 114 police officers were killed in the line of duty the same year.  A USA Today analysis of shootings of black suspects by police found over a 7 year period ending in 2012 the average was 96 per year.

So all told the percentage of black deaths attributable to police is approximately 3.8 percent.  Let's assume there has been an increase of 150% since 2012 (a very generous assumption).  That's 5.7 percent of blacks killed by police.  Now let's make another (very generous) assumption that half of those were unjustified.

So you've got a movement focused on 2.85% of the blacks killed in a year.  And this movement is just making things worse.

As an aside (this could fill it's own blog post), I've heard the analogy of the BLM movement vs. the All Lives Matter people as "this house is on fire so let's focus on the house on fire and worry about the problems with other houses later."  Except if less than 3% of the tragic deaths of black people is a fire, what is the other 97%?  Children are dying in gang wars.  They are far more innocent than most of the people shot by police.  But again, that's another discussion for another day (and I recognize that each death is a tragedy in itself).

On to my main point.

Cops are human and painfully aware of the dangers of their jobs.  This has always been a fact of life for them but now their fear is heightened.  I have heard directly from multiple officers that they feel there is a war on cops right now.  This only exacerbates the problem.  Scared cops are more likely to use force because they want to go home to their families at the end of the day.

A better approach would be to build bridges, not burn them.  Community outreach with local police departments.  Sit down and have coffee with an officer and talk to him/her about how policing can be improved. Talk about what kind of training can make things better.

Above all, remember cops are human and they just want to live too.  And the more violent the neighborhood - and the less they feel the people of the community have their backs - the more likely they are going to want to act to protect themselves - just like you would.

It's not a cop problem. It's not a racism problem (and the statistics are pretty clear on that).  It's not a black problem.  It's a human problem and we don't need to make enemies of one another.

2 Year Olds and Toothbrushing

Brushing his teeth really isn't that important, right?  I mean, they're going to fall out anyways.  Ugh, it's one of those battles I know I -should- pick but when I'm doing the picking getting him to just go to sleep before 9:30 seems more important..

Why I am Anti-Hillary

I'm not a democrat.  I'm more accurately characterized as a conservative with a libertarian streak.  But even if Hillary held the political views of Ted Cruz, I wouldn't support her.

And here's the thing - it's partly because she's a woman.  That's right.  I don't want her to be president because she's a woman.

Don't get me wrong - I would LOVE to have a woman president.  I was pro-woman in combat arms jobs before it was cool.  I believe in women in leadership.  But not like this.

Let me explain - Hillary would not be where she is if not for Bill.  He's the charming one.  He's the Rhodes Scholar with the political savvy.  The sole reason Hillary has had any political success is that it's built on his success.  She's annoying and unlikeable.  She lacks his personality and charisma.

And I want our first woman president to get there on her own merit.  Not because of who she married.

Add to that the fact that she's just downright corrupt.  Shady.  Dishonest.  She's been busted so many times doing dishonorable things and those are just what we know about for sure.

I could make a list I suppose - Benghazi, silencing Bill's sex assault/harassment victims, travelgate, Whitewater, troopergate, the foundation donations from human rights violators, the excessive speaking fees, and of course, the emails.

The emails bug me the most at the moment - probably in part due to their recency.  But also her statements are just so ludicrous and her behavior so entitled/sketchy/dangerous.  When I was in the Marine Corps I held a secret clearance.  Just secret.  Not top secret and nothing like a Secretary of State would hold.  And I knew darn good and well that classified information had to be treated with the utmost of care.  As a lowly NCO, I knew this.  And had I acted like her, I'm quite certain I would have found myself facing a court martial.  The idea that she thought it was just hunky dory to use a private server for her work as SoS is just downright stupid.  And I don't think she's (that) dumb.  She's either pretty much the biggest idiot on the planet (i.e. shouldn't be president) or a complete and utter liar who cares very little for national security (and shouldn't be president).

And come on, we all know she really just didn't like those pesky FOIA requests.

I want a woman president.  But more importantly, I want a good president.  I'm pretty bummed with all the talent out there we've ended up with a Clinton/Trump election.

The Problem with Prosecuting Illegal Immigrants

My job as a Deputy DA is to enforce the law.  To prosecute those who break the law in a fair and just manner.  To give closure and justice to victims.  To analyze the strengths and weaknesses of my cases, make fair plea offers, and treat defendants in an even-handed manner.  I don't write the laws.  Sometimes I don't agree with the laws.  But my job is not to change the law but to follow it.

Not all DAs feel this way.  There are some who selectively choose not to enforce the law, or who give special treatment to certain groups.  Nowhere do I see this disparity more than in the treatment of illegal aliens.  I am not going to call them "undocumented workers" or immigrants.  They are here illegally and they are aliens, i.e. foreign persons without permission to be in our country.

I only prosecute felonies at this point in my career, and the difference was more marked when prosecuting misdemeanors but it is still a frequent issue.  At the misdemeanor level, the most common requests for special treatment come in the context of driving cases and domestic violence cases.  In the former, defense attorneys want a break for their clients because they can't (or couldn't prior to recent law changes) get their drivers' licenses, so what choice to they have but to drive without one?  The simple answer is, had they followed the immigration laws in the first place, they wouldn't have this problem with the traffic laws.  But no one seems to notice that little point.

In domestic violence cases, and in my current felony cases, the plea is different.  There the sad, sad story is so-and-so will get deported if you give him the same offer you give the American citizen who committed the same crime so you should give him a better offer.  They want non-physical DV offers (phone harassment) and lower level drug offenses than are typically offered to citizens and legal residents.  And the truth is, they often get these offers from my colleagues.

I don't like this policy.  I follow it because it is the policy of my office and I am not the decision maker when it comes to these things.  But I feel it is fundamentally unfair to give a better offer to someone here illegally (for the simple reason that they're here illegally and face consequences for that previous decision) than I would give to an American citizen who has not come here illegally.

And frankly, it's pretty damn hard to get deported under the current administration.  Almost all non-violent crimes no longer result in deportation.  Even some people with pretty terrible records are allowed to stay.  It's the really violent stuff that gets people deported.  Most of the other guys aren't actually facing immediate deportation - they want to be eligible for legal residency and citizenship at some point (a hope kept alive by Obama's disregard for immigration law) so they want a plea that will not just keep them in the country but allow them to eventually become citizens.

And here's the thing:  I like immigrants.  Man, those men and women who go through the process, are vetted, wait their turn, and come here are amazing.  They appreciate America like most of the native born citizens can't.  They work hard and they contribute incredibly to our society.  I want more of those people.  We allow a lot of legal immigration, but could allow more if we weren't burdened by millions who didn't wait their turn.

And here's the other thing: there simply aren't that many crimes that are going to block someone from legal residency or deport them.  Literally we're only talking about physical domestic violence and felonies.  And guess what?  We don't want any more felons here.  We grow enough of our own - we don't need them from other countries.  Our legislators have essentially said - ok you can break some of the "minor" rules - just don't commit the big crimes and we'll leave you alone.  And those people who can't even avoid breaking the big rules - the felonies - then want a deal that will pretend they didn't do one of those very few things where we've drawn the line and said ok you gotta go.

If you know you're here illegally, shouldn't you be that much more careful to obey the law.  Seriously, if you're here illegally but you pretty much just live your life and don't get into trouble, you're going to get to stay.  It's like when you're driving and you know your license or registration is expired.  You drive that much more carefully because you don't want to give the cops an excuse to pull you over, right?  I'm sure there are many who fall into that category and maybe my feeling on this is skewed by the job I'm in and the location.  A large percentage of our cases come from the illegal alien community - a disproportionate percentage.

Is it so hard to just follow the rules?

The Meth Solution

Meth is bad (cue South Park Mr. Mackay).  I mean real bad.  If we could get rid of meth and heroin my caseload of thefts/false info to pawnbroker/motor vehicle theft cases would drop by about 2/3.  Not to mention the controlled substance cases.

The "civilian" world thinks our system is really mean to drug offenders.  Really, the opposite is true, at least in my jurisdiction (the Feds are another story altogether).  We're super lenient on simple possession cases - we try to use our resources in prosecution/prison to go after the manufacturers and dealers.  We bend over backwards to try to get people whose crime is possession of drugs or who commit property crimes in pursuit of drugs help.  We give them repeated chances with diversion, probation, drug court, intensive probation, etc., to try to keep them out of prison.  Diversion and probation officers provide treatment options and frequently pay for treatment for offenders.

The simple truth is we don't want to fill up our prisons with addicts.  Especially those who commit "minor" property crimes in conjunction with their addiction.   I have literally seen my judge sentence a defendant on a 7th felony to probation because his entire history was a case study in addiction.

But the simple truth is no matter what carrot and/or stick we try to use, the person has to be ready to get help and has to want it.  Yes, they all say they want to get clean, when they're in jail and jonesing for drugs and in front of a judge facing prison.  "This has been a huge wake up call.  I want help.  I want to get into treatment.  I want to do it for my kids."  I can't count the number of times I've heard this.  And I can't count the number of times I've seen these same defendants come back on probation revocation only a couple months later (and that's after the probation officer has given them umpteen chances to get it together).

The real problem for me is the last sentence - the kids.  Because I swear to you, meth appears to be the most effective fertility drug out there.  And if you want to eff up your own life I feel bad for you but it's on you.  When you bring children into the mix it just breaks my heart.  And I'll be the one to see those kids in 18 years in court on their first felonies and talking about how their mom/dad was never there and was addicted to drugs and they got addicted too.  My friend N and I were recently talking about this and came up with the solution.

Cue the solution (scientists get to work on this): Meth with birth control included.  This would be legal meth.  Regular meth - still illegal.  Birth Control Meth - totally legal.  So you can do meth if you want but only with the BC component.  It'd be super cheap too because it would be legal.  Destroy your own life but don't bring another into the world and destroy it too.  I'm sure some super smart guys/gals could come up with a way to make the birth control aspect last at least a year after last use.  That way if a person really does get his/her life cleaned up they can have children once they've been off the drugs for awhile.

I know this is so much wishful thinking and it's not that simple.  But I see kids being destroyed every day with this drug.  Living in houses heated by the oven being on and using buckets as toilets.  A 6 year old who is not potty trained.  And recently, a meth addict who left her 4 year old, 18 month old, and 6 week old alone in the bathtub.  You can guess what happened.  The 4 year old and 18 month old tested positive for meth after removal from the home;  the 6 week old's body also tested positive at the time of her autopsy.

Our solution may seem halfway lighthearted but behind it is the truth:  these kids never have a chance because addiction makes the addict a wholly selfish person focused only on the need for drugs and unable to give a child what he/she needs.  When I was pregnant with my children I felt guilty for not eating very healthily and having caffeine too often - as I've often said I'm not one of those perfect women who eats organic perfectly balanced meals and gives up all indulgence while pregnant.  But when push comes to shove, my kids come first.  I find it unfathomably sad that so many children are born with drugs in their systems and that they grow up in this environment.  Especially when I know so many families struggle with fertility and would give anything for the privilege of being a parent.

I meant this to be a kind of funny post but it took a bit of a dark turn.  I guess joking about meth addiction only takes you so far when you start thinking about the real innocents affected by it.

1st Confession - I am a Terrible Parent

Yes, I give my 2 year old Gatorade. I put on Paw Patrol or Cars just to get some peace of mind.  And I bribe my child on a regular basis with new cars (hot wheels).  He probably has 200 of them.  So just a heads up, this will not be a preachy parent blog or a holier than thou blog.  I do not do Pinterest because I would fail.  Every time.  No joke.

I very regularly feed my child mac and cheese and very rarely get him to eat veggies.  Hell, I don't eat veggies so meh.  I also haven't lost the baby weight and eat crap all day long.  I blame it on breastfeeding.  Yeah, about breastfeeding - I don't do it because it's "SO GOOD for your baby."  I do it because it's cheaper than formula.  And yes, that equation only works if you consider the time involved and having to be the one on call for boob time 24/7 as not worth anything but let's be honest, moms out there:  we are always last.  You know what I mean.  I'm not trying to complain but one of the greatest parts about going back to work after my first child was getting to eat my food while it was hot.  And without anyone whining at me, throwing things on the floor, or trying to lick the table.  Of course, I am that mom that then whips out the iParent (as one friend called it).  My 2 year old has known how to open YouTube and put on "race car videos" for ages.  He completely zones out and I get 10 (oh who am I kidding - it's more like 20) minutes to eat.

Ok, I'm not really a terrible parent.  I'm just a real parent.  Who is tired.  And sometimes more selfish than I perhaps should be.  Just a few minutes ago I realized my son was repeatedly saying "moo cow tractor knock over mommy's water" and realized I probably should do something to prevent this.  He had probably been saying it for 2 minutes straight - I'm really not sure.

However, whenever I feel like a bad parent, I just remember some of my wonderful defendants.  And I tell myself I am a wonderful parent because I don't do meth.  And I don't beat up my spouse (except in my imagination) and I don't hurt my kids and even if I don't manage to do letter flashcards and read 20 books a day and do some sort of enrichment activity every day, my kids are doing fine.  I feed them.  I love them and show them my love.  They are safe and secure.

And despite the fact that I feel a teensy bit of guilt that I just ignored my oldest (we'll call him Big K here) calling for me (when, once again, he's supposed to be napping) so that I could finish this thought, I know I'm doing ok.  Not always my best if I'm honest because sometimes I just need a mommy moment.  And now I'm going to go check on little K who has been in his swing for I'm not sure how long...

An Introduction

I am a mother of a 2 year old and 2 month old, a lawyer and prosecutor, and a political junkie. I'm not really sure why I'm starting this blog and even less sure anyone will ever read it.  Maybe it's an outgrowth of being on maternity leave and having no one to bounce ideas off although it's something I've thought about for a long time.  I'm hoping to stick with it despite an increasingly busy life.  I plan to blog about being a prosecution, politics, parenting, and perhaps the occasional pop culture - maybe I should rename the blog PPPP but no one will get it.  As I write this, my 2 year old just made a crashing sound from upstairs where he's supposed to be taking a nap so I guess this intro will be short and sweet.  I made it through Marine Corps boot camp and law school and getting a 2 year old to sleep is one of my most difficult challenges these days.  Off to check on the damage.